And here I thought that the most upsetting thing I read yesterday was that Bradley Cooper beat Ryan Gosling as this year’s sexiest man alive (I mean, come ON. Gosling totally should have won). Then I read this article on the Huffington Post.
There has been a growing backlash lately within the wedding industry to what some people are calling a “vintage wedding trend.” See here, here, and here for a taste of what I’m talking about. Most concerning to me is the Huffington Post article essentially claiming vintage is dead. Here’s my take, and while it is only my opinion, it is a differing opinion that I think real brides need to hear.
I don’t think brides (at least not most of them) go around to the wedding blogs and see what is “trendy” and then decide to plan their own wedding around it (and the ones that do are an entirely different problem that I’m not addressing here today). I think brides have their own style and things they love, and they go to blogs for inspiration on how to incorporate those things into their wedding. A modern-loving bride is not going to wedding blogs and seeing vintage weddings and then stocking up on mason jars. I mean, come on. Brides having vintage weddings are vintage-loving brides. Yeah, vintage has been around for a bit. Yeah, the wedding details on blogs are a bit similar at times because there are a lot of vintage wedding submissions as of late. And yeah, vintage wedding details aren’t anything new to wedding industry professionals or bloggers. But you know what, they are new to that bride who just got engaged and is hitting the wedding blogs for the first time and is seeing vintage weddings that she loves because her grandmother collected mason jars and she wants to use them in her wedding.
To the wedding industry professionals complaining about vintage weddings: if you don’t like vintage weddings, don’t be a part of them. Your job is to bring to life a bride’s vision and her greatest wishes for her wedding. It isn’t YOUR wedding. Are you a blogger who doesn’t like vintage weddings? Don’t publish them. Are you a photographer frustrated that a blog rejected your non-vintage wedding? Submit it to one of the many wedding blogs that focus on other types of weddings. There is something out there for everyone and every bride. And there are brides who just love vintage. Period. And they should get their vintage wedding and not feel bad about it.
My problem with the Huffington Post article is this (and I’m going to give the writer the benefit of the doubt that she didn’t mean to do this): it makes current brides planning vintage weddings feel bad. It makes them feel lame. It makes them feel negative at a time when they should feel good about planning whatever type of wedding they want. Trendy or not, it is not ok to make people feel bad or judged for their choices or what they love. Here is a comment I received yesterday on my Facebook page (where we’re having a great discussion on this topic) from a real bride planning a vintage wedding:
Vintage is not dead. If you love vintage, have a vintage wedding. If you love mason jars, or skeleton keys, or lace gowns, incorporate them in your wedding with pride and love. Your wedding is about you and your groom, celebrating your love, doing it your way and in your style, having fun, and your marriage that follows. It is not about what others think about it, if it is your photographer’s style, or if a wedding blog will want to publish it. Who cares what other people think anyways?
So brides, don’t listen to anyone but you. Do what you want and what you love. Wedding professionals should be fine with that; supportive of it really. And if they aren’t then they aren’t acting very professionally, in my humble opinion.
From a vintage-loving former bride and wedding blogger who will always publish vintage weddings: Mason jar lovers unite! Skeleton key lovers unite! Vintage lovers unite! Long live vintage! Because let’s face it, everything, even “classic” is a trend at some point, but those that love it will always love it, trend or not.
If you made it through this whole post, then please feel free to express your feelings, opinions, rants, agreements, disagreements, or maybe a comment about how Ryan Gosling was robbed.
31 Comments
Thank you for this!! You know… I’ve been scouring thrift stores and decorating my home with antique (vintage) finds for as long as I can remember. It’s hard for me, who grew up in a house filled with vintage advertising memorabilia, typewriters, skeleton keys, etc to really grasp the idea of vintage as a “trend.” If vintage is your style, it probably shows through in other parts of your life, and it probably has for some time… long before you ever visited your first wedding blog. If vintage is your style, why wouldn’t your wedding reflect that? But hey, if brides are so easily seduced by trends that the industry goes a whole other way in the coming year (I for one give brides a lot more credit than that) then that’s fine too… my vintage wedding will just be that much more unique and that much more “me.”
So eloquently written! Brides choose things they love for their wedding, that’s what makes it unique and personal, whether modern, vintage, classic, retro, alternative, boho… Just because we, as industry professionals may get ‘bored’ of seeing similar ideas reused doesn’t mean we should judge couples who choose to include them in their big day. 12 months ago we were creating ‘vintage’ themed inspiration for our brides, so surely that they have followed our ideas and inspiration is a positive thing?!
Vintage should never be dead or have anyone claim it to be. How dare they! That’s my two cents. As for sexiest man of the year between Bradly and Ryan that is a toss up for me I love them both they are both delicious!! Ryan’s got the nice abs and Bradley has the gorg hair
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Great post! I completely agree – a bride needs to do whatever she wants and makes her happy. She shouldn’t worry about what anyone else will think. If she likes vintage go with it!
Thank you for taking the time to write this! You really hit the nail on the head and I couldn’t agree more! As wedding professionals we are here to give brides what they want. And as bloggers, bashing your target audience (which was BRIDES and not wedding pros the last time I checked!) for their choices is probably not the best way to go about keeping a loyal following. Just saying…
I actually posted a similar response to the HuffPo article this morning on my blog, although perhaps not as eloquently written as yours. Mine is more like HULK MAD, SMASH! But I totally agree with you. I become OUTRAGED when I hear, “I like this but it’s too trendy,” or conversely, “I like this but it’s too obscure.” WHATEVER, just do what makes you happy!!!!
Thank you for posting.
“So brides, don’t listen to anyone but you. Do what you want and what you love. Wedding professionals should be fine with that; supportive of it really. And if they aren’t then they aren’t acting very professionally, in my humble opinion.”
YES! Perfectly said. Every Bride needs to get this memo! I worked with a Bride whose florist told her that her color scheme was outdated. I found her another florist pronto but words like that linger & sting. Support your Brides & make their dreams, whatever they may be, a perfect reality!
As a brand new bride-to-be hitting the wedding blogs for the first time, I am absolutely delighted to see so much vintage style– so much of my style and what I love– featured. I’ve been to countless weddings, classic weddings, and they all seem cookie cutter to me. I can’t wait to find out some way to incorporate my huge collection of vintage cameras into my wedding, or my future father in laws vintage radios into the reception (we need to figure out how to hook up an ipod to these!)
Thank you for this post– Vintage isn’t dead (and soon, what is considered “modern” for this time will be considered “vintage” down the road..
“So brides, don’t listen to anyone but you. Do what you want and what you love. Wedding professionals should be fine with that; supportive of it really. And if they aren’t then they aren’t acting very professionally, in my humble opinion.”
YES! Every Bride & vendor needs these wise words. Last year, a florist told my Bride that her color scheme was outdated. I found her a new florist pronto but words like that sting & linger. Support Brides & make their vision, whatever it may be, a dream come true!!
Well said! It’s up to the couple to have the day they want and it definitely isn’t up the the wedding industry to tell them they aren’t “on trend”. And I’m not a huge fan of vintage personally!
That said, I do think it is a trend which will decrease in popularity in the next couple of years and wedding businesses which are based around vintage need to be ready to adapt.
Well said. Vintage will never die. It may ebb and flow but those who truly languish in vintage will always be here. Brides & grooms stick with what you love.
BTW, my vote is for Ryan too. A good Canadian lad.
Thank you for this. I’ve been married nearly 20 years and vintage has always been near and dear to me but sadly, I didn’t incorporate anything vintage into my wedding. I wish I had known then what I know now. I wish these blogs had been around to inspire me then. I agree, you either love vintage or you don’t. What’s interesting to me is that I have been collecting vintage elements and props for quite some time with the intent of setting up my own vintage rental business. At the time I started, I had NO IDEA it was a trend! I think the reason it’s getting so much attention now is because we are all longing for a simpler time when furniture, household accessories and houses were constructed by hand, with love and care. Nowadays we see so much mass production, dollar store junk items, stores on every corner~ it’s all so impersonal. If there’s one thing you buy in a store you know there’s a billion of them out there! It used to be hard to get things and you cherished all that you had.I think that’s what makes vintage special.
All I want to know is if anyone saw Crazy, Stupid, Love? I mean, really. How could Ryan NOT win after that shirtless scene?
My thought is.. as a wedding professional many of us do feel that we have seen a lot of couches in fields lately BUT I whole heartedly agree that brides love vintage and its not going away. I also think classic and luxe elements are making a come back inspired by the royal wedding, but not for one second do I believe that it means vintage will go away. Look at candy bars/buffets.. we in the wedding industry have seen those innovate little creations since as far back as I can remember- 2003 or 2004? and guess what? Brides still love them. They aren’t really going away. At the end of the day, nobody should be made to feel bad about the kind of wedding they want. I love Mason jars.. have I seen a lot of them lately? Yes, but I still like them. We are going to be inspired by so many different things and we should get to incorporate those elements in our weddings and everyday lives anyway we want
I appreciate and value this post. Weddings shouldn’t be solely based on trends. They should be based on the bride. As a planner, I strive to help my clients plan a wedding that is personalized and reflective of them as a couple. I’m not concerned with whether their wedding fits the mold or starts the next trend. Thanks for sharing!
Obviously, we as wedding professionals, are always going to be on the head of a trend .. for us it may be considered boring or overdone but our job is to execute a beautiful product for our clients regarding of their decor choices.
I think the real heart of the matter is that this industry has become way too concerned with the “look” of a wedding instead of focusing on the heart of a wedding. A beautifully decorated event is important and there is nothing I love more than working with talented designers but it shouldn’t matter to us professionals if the bride loves burlap and mason jars or succulents and modern furniture … everyone’s wedding is different in their own personal way and for us as an industry to attempt to judge what is overplayed is kind of presumptuous.
We have to remember that the bride only sees what we show her. We provide the content for brides to look to for inspiration .. if we only show her mason jars and couches in fields then, of course, that will inspire her. To show wedding after wedding with a vintage theme and then suddenly denounce it as “not-so-timeless” or “silly” or “been there done that” seems quite alienating.
So instead of trying to shape the next trend of the industry into what we want, why don’t we just listen to our brides and grooms and give them what they want?
This is such a good article – you are entirely right, weddings should be about what the couple want, not what some columnist tells them they want (or worse, what they shouldn’t want, as in this case!) – a marriage is forever, so it is so very much better to start off being true to yourself right from the beginning!
Yes yes YES!!!! Seriously, I feel like I say this every day! Brides are planning their weddings for the first time, and they’re seeing all of these “trends” for the first time. Weddings pros tend to get caught up in “trends” and forget about the brides, and I’m so glad all of this is coming up so they can be reminded once again to think of what the brides want. Vintage is a STYLE, not a trend. Brides who want a vintage wedding- or any kind of style at that- should not feel like they HAVE to do something a certain way or not. Brides, do what makes you happy and what will allow you to remember your wedding for forever!
Thank you for this post, It has really helped me put things back into perspective. I have never been one to start trends and have never been concerned with following trends, why start now. It is about following OUR hearts and OUR style whatever that may be. Your insight and the comments following this post and on facebook has spoken to me: “Snap out of it! Continue to do what you love!” Besides, I have enough to think about in regards to planning my wedding, why get bogged down with the opinions of someone not connected to me?
As for Bradley Cooper and Ryan Gosling… I refuse to play favourites. I will take them both!
Isn’t it sad that we feel we have to apologise for liking what we like!! Very well written Chandra!
And as for the boys…. well as much as I like Bradley YES Ryan should have won…. but Ryan Reynolds should also have still been in there!!
great response. Read that article the other day and was thinking the same thoughts
Well said.
Thanks for this post! My fiance and I love going to flea markets and thrift stores. Our home is decorated with things vintage and new, so our wedding will reflect that mixture as well. Ryan Gosling was totally robbed, for gosh sake, he broke up a street fight! Bradley Cooper would never do that.
Thanks for going to bat with your comments to the HuffNPuff. Being an industry professional, I can’t stand it when writers/bloggers/opinionated opinators (yes, I made that up!) say something is “over.” Kind of pretentious but it also speaks volumes to what this particular writer was saying, which seems to be SPEND MORE MONEY ON YOUR WEDDING. Ick. It just seems as though she is preaching Kardashian.
I don’t care if my clients want jelly beans as their entree, Q-tips as decor, and serve Little Debbie wedding cakes…. that’s what my clients want, and by golly, that’s what I will deliver. The industry has its popular themes but we need to get to the root of all of it–delivering what our peeps want. If it’s vintage, then so be it. And I’m all for it!
Thanks so much for this perfectly written post! It definitely gave me the courage to do my own blog post on the same topic. Thanks for putting it out there, and in a professional way. Well written, and very much appreciated!
Thanks from one vintage lover to another!
There is so many things wrong with that article including the blatant disrespect the author shows to those of us that make our living dealing in Vintage Goods. Not to mention the slap in the face to past, present and future Brides that love Vintage and want to use our services. BTW-Vintage is not a TREND but a STYLE. How do I know? Because I have been using Vintage for 25+ years in Events, Weddings and Photo sessions and my business is STILL THRIVING to say the least.
I would hope the next time the author decides to promote her own business through a public forum she would do so with a little more decorum.
Ok, I’m off to take some “silly staged photographs” using Vintage props for a client.
Blessings To All Of Us Vintage Lovers:)
Carol
http://www.RaisedInCotton.com
http://raisedincotton.typepad.com
I will be using mason jars at my August 2012 wedding not because they are trendy or are no longer trendy, but because I preserve food and I have a billion of them (especially since they will be all empty from the previous year and ready for the sept. can session).
I get annoyed with all these wedding blog posts I see with these perfectly put together “rustic” weddings when you know half the bride didn’t know what burlap or mason jars were!
Thanks for that! I’ve seen a lot of jaded wedding bloggers and vendors lately, and it kind of makes me sad. I can understand that it may all start to look the same to people who see it every weekend, but that’s no reason for grumpy rants and stomping on bride’s ideas.
I am weary, too, of getting lumped in since I make wedding films on Super 8mm film (and HD). It’s seen as a vintage medium (and, well, I do shoot on cameras from the ’70s!), but it transcends any one type of bride or wedding since it’s a beautiful and timeless medium. I say to each their own… The author rants against nostalgia like it’s a terrible thing, and I find it way off-base. Each bride’s ideas are the things that I enjoy about this industry, whether it’s a part of a “trend” or not. So help me, if I ever get that jaded, maybe it would be time to find a new career!
And, I got married last year, and totally had hand-painted mason jars and the photos of
“the couple in the field holding hands two feet apart, back lit by the sun”–and I loved both, and I will love that photo for years and years!
Thank you
I think vintage is beautiful, and it can be inexpensive. Were on a tight budget and it is so much simpler and more meaningful to use things that my grandmother and great-grandmother used, then trying to buy the new “trendy” decor.
Thank you for this rant! I just recently discovered your blog but I do remember reading that article and being crushed! (I didn’t change a thing about my upcoming wedding, it actually made me love my wedding “theme” even more for being “me” but still-ick what a terrible article) You hit it right on the head-us newly-engaged didn’t pay attention to the wedding stuff before, don’t make us feel bad!
Absolutely, there is so much from the past to borrow from. Vintage will be around forever!